a week of firsts. how refreshing.
it may not have particularly been on my list of new year’s resolutions, but perhaps it should have been and needn’t have, all at the same time.
come to think of it, i do remember making a non-occasion based pact with myself to forget some of my phobias and superstitions before i grow so old, i curse myself for being too cautious and missing out on some good times.
i may be a pisces, but much of these scaredy cat moments occur around bodies of water. fear of shadows in the deep… and in the shallows, fear generated by my lack of skills in water (ie., can’t swim), fear of looking stupid in my bog-catcher bathers, fear of looking hideous in the fluorescent lit mirrors of the change rooms at myers, therefore going back to fear of looking stupid in my elastic-free-zone togs. my head swims (about the only part of me that does) with baseless phobias. it’s a veritable man-o-war of worlds in there. although those in the aquatic life saving profession might argue, that not being able to tread water is not a baseless fear, therefore i am essentially afraid of shadows and saggy speedos.
i have spent the best part of the last two years exorcising these fears with dips off the back of a boat, straight into the innocuous waters of lake eildon. you cannot see the bottom, you cannot see your feet (this is not the beginning of a doctor seuss book), but i have been assured that there are nothing but carp in the murky depths of our precious victorian drinking water source. anyone who wants to share news with me on the contrary will be erased quietly from my life forever, as armed with this information, i have now swum more times in the last two years, than i ever did in the last ten. HANDS DOWN.
this saturday just gone, saw me galavanting in the murky depths of none other than… the northcote pool. before you chuckle, keep in mind that this is perhaps one of the dirtiest waters i have ever braved and is populated with some of the most life endangeringly unsavoury children and their plague inducing refuse…. okay, now you can chuckle.
oh, and before i start getting complaints from patriotic pool goers of the north, i am of course, exaggerating.
i had the best time ever!
or so i thought, until sunday, which saw me at an actual beach!
i frolicked, i paddled, i… i… i… SWAM (in my own special way)! let me tell you, i lasted a long time all slimed up in my 30+, hauling my lycra-less unitard back over my breasts with every one millimetre wave that pounded me, without the slightest of qualms.
that is, until my lovely friend, dan, was stung by a jellyfish. next to shark attack, this tops my aquaphobic list!
which brings me to another fear i cannot shake. it’s not so much the intense phobia i have of all other life forms that leaves me filled with dread, but the fear of what i might do in public, if faced with an unexpected interaction of the creature kind (have you ever planned to walk into a wasp nest?). i will throw myself in front of traffic, screaming like a cat in the throes of heavy petting if i so much as brush by a bee… and have done so (as a result, i seldom leave the house).
in preparation for her school skiing trip the next morning, my sister once walked wordlessly into my room late one night wearing a balaclava over her head and just stood there looking at me. she was probably wearing a, ‘well what do you think?’, expression on her covered face. all i saw was my impending abduction by a five foot, pajama clad terrorist. i sank to my knees and softly whimpered.
knowing that this is how i will react when my abductor finally finds me through an open window, is hardly a comfort.
it is also safe to say that i have digressed.
i waded tentatively back into the very same waters that old stingy fish had partied on dan’s welted calf and i got over it. well, for the most part. i was afraid, but i waded anyway.
it was a fantastic day and i will return to chip away at the fear of marauding marine-mites and have myself a damn good life.
other first time highlights from the week include, high tea at the windsor with a friend i’ve been meaning to spend some one on one with, but never have. we wore gloves
and frocked up in polka dots and flowers.
here is a sample of some of the delicious cakes we devoured with our scones, sandwiches cut into fingers and tea. this one remained uneaten, but our favourite for being garnished by a short black hair.
i also sang a few songs out and about this week past.
at a show held by lilith lane and the ukeladies, dan (the jellyfish survivor) and i sang duetted love songs at the spanish club for valentine’s day.
this is dan.
we finished our short set with a rousing reindition of ‘islands in the stream’.
may, from the ukeladies also accompanied us at the northcote pool. she is a fine crossword partner. 
the other show was a benefit/fundraiser for the recording of ‘sista she’s’ new album. karmically, i couldn’t possibly say no. so many people had been actively charitable and responsible in making it possible for me to record my album. i wouldn’t have missed it for the world, regardless of my karmic debt, as they are the most fantastic duo i have ever had the privilege of sharing the stage with. the theme for my part in the set was sneakers. so, donning my black diesel trainers, i resurrected the acapella cover of yore, ‘miss celie’s blues’ aka ‘sister’ and with the change of a few key words, it became an ode to sneakers. whilst singing all on my ownsome, i experienced one of those rare attacks of nerves that come out of nowhere and cannot be quelled. i was calm of mind, just physically jolted. my body shook like an old washing machine! i stopped the song mid-way and shared my nervousness with the crowd. i felt an outpouring of support and empathy, which helped me to carry on, even though i was visibly shaking. i then joined the girls on their own song about sneakers. i don’t have any photos of the night, but i’ll pop them in later, should i come by any.
in the meantime, as i am taking meetings for my record in the hopes of securing a nice little home with the right label, so i had my unruly mane tamed at a salon i have never been to before.
a week of firsts…
things look very good for ‘grounded bird’. i am hoping for a june/july release.
gloves and fearlessness,
ang x